It’s just a regular Tuesday morning for Derek. He posts some letters, picks up a bolt for the bathroom door, and pops into the bank. He’s busy planning dinner in his head when there’s a loud pop, followed by several more, and three men in ski masks jump up onto the tables between the queue Derek’s in.
"Good morning everybody, this is a robbery! Now if nobody loses their head, nobody will lose their head. Simon says everybody lay down on the floor, right away, right away.”
Derek feels his mouth fall open in shock. People are shouting and starting to cry as they fall to their knees. A woman in front of him begins screaming, and the man in the mask that had been talking jogs over, “No, no, ma’am, try to stay calm, you’ll have a story to tell your friends at the end of this. People’ll invite you to dinner for weeks to hear about it.”
"Just get down on the floor, ma’am, there’s nothing to be afraid of."
Despite the mild panic creeping up his spine, Derek snorts, and the guy hears it.
Oh, fuck, he shouldn’t have done that.
"Sir!" He moves to stand in front of Derek, claps a hand on his shoulder and Derek flinches. "Hey, number two, we got ourselves a standing volunteer!" Another man with a mask comes bounding, bounding, over, and half waves his machine gun in the first guy’s face.
"Uh huh, he’s not impressed with our behaviour at all.”
my sister’s view on one direction’s fashion sense:
- louis: “smoked weed once and won’t let anyone forget it”
- zayn: “posh college student ft. laid back beyonce”
- harry: “hippie mom that’s a little too happy about being pregnant”
- niall: “frat boy… might’ve sucked some dick but no one judges him”
- liam: “he looks like he’s about to get into a rap battle”
calum: *gets blonde streak*
[phone starts ringing, calum answers call]
zayn: how my dick taste
Nicki Minaj ft. the VMAs